Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
