you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Actions speak louder than pants.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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