I just saw a hot homeless man
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
