Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
