I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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