apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
