Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
