I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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