for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
