porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
