please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
