he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
