Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
