What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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