yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize