Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
