i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
