you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
