i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
