If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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