First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
