It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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