Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
that may or may not have been my penis.
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