I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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