just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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