sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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