see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
