I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need to align my fucking chakras
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
