Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
