I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
