I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
