You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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