You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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