What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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