and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
