At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
