I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
