Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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