My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
