Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
