my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
