he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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