Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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