he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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