I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
