i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
