so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
