Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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