If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
