i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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