i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
