His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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