A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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