And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
