I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish you could order shots online.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
