omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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