didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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