Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
