; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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