If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
