I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
