Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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