Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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