dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
