I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
